i’m going to be writing somewhere else.

period.

the fact alone
that anyone can be doing anything anywhere
makes cigarettes taste delicious
and makes this chair
and this computer
seem perpetually worthless
not even close to alexander the great
conquering the world
or michael phelps
being the greatest swimmer
as-of-yet
so i smoke and i drink
in front of my computer screen
and i think of something epic
i think of something etched in stone
that will make millions of eyes bleed
this pen,
said to be mightier than the sword
is only excalibur when wielded properly
is only worth the swing
by the size of the cut

and i want to cut this world in half.

my pupils are drying up
at an unstoppable rate
my brain is filled with water
with nowhere to escape
i feel this palpable hate
dwindling day after day
i think i’m drowning my brain
i feel the air dissipate
i feel my heart start to wane
and it’s a weird kind of fate
to die from a numb kind of pain
it slowly drives you insane
all this water with nowhere to drain
all this water and no sign of rain

(1:27 a.m. 8-16-08)